Why We Can’t Simply “Switch Off”
- Lindsey Wood
- Jun 17
- 4 min read
Have you ever been told to just relax?
Or perhaps you’ve found yourself lying in bed exhausted, wishing your mind would stop replaying conversations, planning tomorrow or worrying about things beyond your control.
If only it were that simple.
One of the most common things I hear from students is:
“I don’t know how to switch off.”
And honestly, I understand.
Modern life doesn’t teach us how to switch off.
In many ways, it teaches us the exact opposite.
We Live In A World That Keeps Us Switched On
Our days are filled with information.
Emails.
Messages.
Notifications.
Work.
Family responsibilities.
News.
Social media.
Endless things to remember and respond to.
Many of us move from one task to the next without ever truly pausing.
The body may eventually stop, but the mind often keeps going.
This isn’t a personal failure.
It’s simply how the nervous system responds when it spends long periods managing stimulation, stress and responsibility.
Your Nervous System Needs A Transition
One of the biggest misconceptions about relaxation is that it should happen instantly.
We expect ourselves to move from busy to calm in a single step.
But the nervous system often needs a bridge.
Imagine driving quickly along a motorway.
You wouldn’t expect to stop instantly without slowing down first.
In many ways, the nervous system works similarly.
It often needs time and support to move from doing into being.
From activity into rest.
From alertness into ease.
Why Relaxation Is A Skill
Many people assume they are bad at meditation or relaxation because they find stillness difficult.
The truth is that relaxation is often a practice rather than a personality trait.
Just as we strengthen muscles through repetition, we can also strengthen our capacity to slow down.
This doesn’t happen through force.
It happens through gentle and repeated experiences of safety, awareness and rest.
The more opportunities we create for the nervous system to soften, the easier it becomes to access that state again.
Why Some People Struggle With Meditation
I was reminded of this recently by a student who told me they weren’t very good at meditation.
Whenever we reached the relaxation part of class, they felt restless.
Stillness felt uncomfortable.
Over time, however, something began to change.
As they became more familiar with slowing their movements, softening their breath and noticing sensations within their body, they became more comfortable staying.
They hadn’t suddenly become “good” at meditation.
They had simply built their capacity for stillness.
This is one of the reasons I often encourage movement before meditation.
For some people, the body needs an opportunity to slow down before the mind can follow.
A Yogic Perspective
One of the most famous definitions of yoga comes from Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
“Yoga is the calming of the fluctuations of the mind.”
This does not mean forcing thoughts to disappear.
It does not mean achieving a completely blank mind.
Through movement.
Through breath.
Through awareness.
Through rest.
We begin to create the conditions that allow the mind to settle.
Another beautiful teaching from yoga philosophy is the balance between effort and ease.
In Sanskrit this is known as Sthira Sukham Asanam.
Too much effort and we become tense.
Too much ease and we lose engagement.
The invitation is to find balance.
This applies to relaxation too.
The harder we try to switch off, the more difficult it often becomes.
Sometimes calm arrives when we stop forcing it.
Movement → Breath → Awareness → Rest
This simple pathway is one I return to often in my own practice and classes.
Movement
Movement helps discharge tension and meet the body where it is.
Breath
Breath provides an anchor and helps communicate safety to the nervous system.
Awareness
Awareness gently redirects attention away from spiralling thoughts and towards the present moment.
Rest
Rest becomes something we allow rather than something we force.
For many people, this gradual approach feels far more accessible than trying to jump straight into stillness.
As a yoga teacher, people sometimes assume that I always sleep well, switch off easily and move through life feeling calm and regulated.
The reality is that I am human too.
I experience stress. I have periods where my mind feels busy. There are times when I need to consciously return to the same tools I share with my students.
Breath practices.
Movement.
Yoga Nidra.
Time in nature.
Moments of stillness.
The difference isn’t that these experiences disappear.
The difference is that I have learned to recognise them and gently support myself through them.
This is one of the reasons I feel so passionate about sharing these practices.
Not because they make us perfect, but because they remind us that we don’t have to navigate everything alone.
A Final Thought
If you struggle to switch off, please know there is nothing wrong with you.
A busy mind is not a broken mind.
More often, it is a mind that has been working hard for a very long time.
Rather than asking yourself to instantly relax, perhaps begin by asking:
“What might help me slow down?”
One breath.
One movement.
One moment of awareness at a time.
Sometimes calm is not something we find.
It is something we practise.
Looking For Extra Support?
The Calm the Busy Mind Bundle includes:
🌿 A gentle movement practice
🌿 Grounding breathwork
🌿 Sensory meditation
🌿 Mudra and mantra practice
🌿 Yoga Nidra
🌿 A companion guide
Designed to help you move from doing… to resting.
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